Monthly Archives: September 2008

The Fantasy Football Report

This weekend was one of the worst fantasy football and sports weekends I have suffered in my career as a FFL guru.  Not only did I lose Marvin Harrison and Joseph Adai to Indy’s bye, but Willie Parker was out with an injury, Michael Turner tanked, and Deuce McCallister was reinserted into the Saints RB by committee rotation leaving Reggie Bush on the sideline for much more than normal.  My K and Defense which had both brought in decent points over the last two weeks took a break from scoring me points.  If you combine that with the fact that I played the first placed Fuzzy’s Dead Skins who was full strength for the match up and had a record week from Brett Favre and big numbers from Whitten, Chris Johnson, and Adrian Peterson, the result is an embarrassing loss for the Citizen Cane.  His team totally rocked the scoreboard while I fizzled.

In the LPC FFL, Pastor Trav lost his 3rd in a row to the resurgent Bacharach, Ritz got a bogus win against Jesse‘s Fusers because Jesse did not adjust his roster for the bye week players.  And the Turkey Buzzards got totally thrashed by Paul’s Skins.  With Jesse’s Fusers and my Citizen Cane squad losing, that leaves Fuzz’s Dead Skins as the only undefeated teams left in the league at 3-0.

In the Second Chance LPC Pickem, Alex was on fire, picking 11 out of 13 correctly, Paul had 10 correct picks, and Chris showed off his football knowledge with 9 correct picks.  I, on the other hand, only picked 6 out of 13 correctly.  I have been humbled.

Next week I will find redemption!

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Filed under fantasy football, football, life pointe, NFL, sports

The Monday Armchair Quarterback

The Dolphins did not even play and this weekend was a huge disappointment for your humble blogger/correspondant. With the Hurricane Fizzle on Saturday, my pickem debacle, and yesterday’s collapse of my team’s fantasy team, I had a tough weekend. I guess I will just have to pick up the pieces and move on. Did you see the helmet-to-helmet show Anquan Boldin took? Knocked out! Apparently he will be OK but fines will be forthcoming against the DB that laid the smackdown on him.

Chris Day had a pretty good weekend calling Washington’s win over Dallas (but then again, even if they were as bad as the Bucs in the 80’s facing the AFC pro bowl squad, he still would have picked them). Alex looks like a lock to win the first round of picks in the LPC 2nd Chance Pickem league with some great picks. Congrats. Chris outpicked me by 3 full games, and Kelly even outpicked me. How embarrassing!

The LPC FFL league is down to one last undefeated team as of tonight’s MNF game. You can read about that tomorrow in my FFL report.

Even with the “Major” disappointments I have suffered over the weekend, I have to say that football season is the most wonderful time of the year!

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Filed under fantasy football, football, games, life pointe, Miami Dolphins, Miami Hurricanes, NFL, sports

Sunday Life Pointe Talk Soup: Atom Splitter Edition

Thanks once again to Ol’ Atom Splitter for writing the this week’s Talk Soup.  Considering the big news that was going to be announced this morning, I am happy that someone was there to witness and report!

A Closed Window Morphs Into An Open Door

Here’s the Ol’ Atom-Splitter talkin’ atcha again, pinch-hittin’ for Our Man Flint, who’s doing his duty to God and Country at Turkey Point Nuclear Power Station.

Music had its usual throbbing, powerful and voluminous punch today in all three services. We worshipped The Almighty to the tunes of “Always Greater”, “Better Days” and “I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever” and partook of Communion with the worshipful and moving, “Mighty To Save”. Beautiful!

Paul announced that this week is the last week to bid on the UM football memorabilium helmet, signed by the all-pro NFL great, Ray Lewis. You have heard of Blood Diamonds? Our auction is to benefit Blood Water. Submit a bid, possibly the winning one, and further that relief effort in Somalia to help innocent, oppressed civilians, victimized by the denial of access to water, an act of warfare.

Today, Life-Pointe received astounding news: we have been given another location–a beautiful church building and an adjacent residence, ready to go in the Islamorada area. The facilities offer many opportunities and is in fine shape, at an excellent location and debt-free. Trav had been looking and making offers for places that never materialized for one reason or another. Then, suddenly, this door opened up for Life-Pointe to expand into the Keys. It has been often repeated that when God closes a door, He will open a window, but that aphorism was turned around. He kept closing the windows because He had a great BIG DOOR for Life-Pointe to enter. It is an exciting day for Life-Pointers, indeed.

This announcement meshed so perfectly with Chapter 3 of Habakkuk, the final installment, Climbing Out Of The Dip, of this amazing ‘minor’ prophet book series. The three major points of our pastors’ message go thusly: 1) Remember what God has done, 2) Accept what God is doing and 3) Trust what God will do. Habakkuk Chapter 3 includes the verse, referenced by the Apostle Paul about eight centuries later, “the just shall live by their faith.” That small yet powerful sentence became a foundational theological principle of the New Testament—“Justification by Faith”. Our living, our confidence in the future, and actually our Time and Eternal Destiny is made a surety by that little verse in Habakkuk 3.

As they say in Germany , “Spater”.

For another perspective on today at Life Pointe, visit:

Pastor Trav’s Wrap Up

Jesse, From the Stage

Billy Barue’s Sunday Muddle

“The Major” Chris Day’s LPC Sunday Morning Tossed Salad

Ritz’ Sunday Goosfaba

Kelly’s Chick Kabob

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Hurricane Fizzle

Yesterday, my Canes suffered a heartbreaking defeat. The most painful part is that with all the talent and speed, they totally fizzled out late. The game was in hand at 24-14 with 9 minutes to play when the coverage bust led to a 74 yard UNC touchdown. Following up the breakdown, Miami went conservative and UNC drove down the field once again to score a TD and take the lead 28-24. With 10 seconds, North Carolina safety Trimane Goddard intercepted a pass intended for Kayne Farquharson. He had the ball in his hands in the endzone. All he has to do is come down with the ball and game over, Miami wins.

Chalk this one up to inexperience. It’s also painful for Butch the turn coat Davis to come into our house and beat us.

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Saturday Top 5: Breakfast

It’s time for a massive breakfast! So what are the 5 “must have” items to consume at breakfast excluding beverage? Hey, all you oatmealers, cereal and milkers, danish and croissanters, and farina eaters, have a nice healthy breakfast of the following.

I’m sorry, sausage (links or patties), toast, and country ham almost made the cut. But I will gladly eat any of them any time.

#5. Pancakes – I was conflicted between pancakes and waffles making the cut, but then I started thinking about how people throw fruit and junk all over waffles. Then the thought of some soft, sweet, buttery pancakes hit me and it just makes sense. Waffles are good, but there’s nothing like a stack of flap jacks dripping with butter and maple syrup for breakfast. Of course, you gotta have some sausage or bacon with that!

#4. Grits – Bill had a great post on grits a few weeks back that really reaches to the essence of the question,”What are grits?”. It’s not just a breakfast food, but no southern breakfast is complete without it. And you better not put anything sweet on them! You might as well eat oatmeal or cream of wheat. For the record, grits can be eaten at any meal. That was what kept grits from making the top of the list. They are particularly good with fried fish and hushpuppies.

#3. Biscuits – Before I began my low carb existence, biscuits and gravy were regularly part of my unbalanced breakfast. Now, I only have some soy toast and butter as a treat that I can incorporate into my regular diet. Strawberry or fig preserves or grape jelly really goes great as long as you aren’t using your biscuits to sop your broken egg yolk. Sausage gravy rocks a biscuit like you wouldn’t believe.

#2. Bacon – This is quite possibly the most tasty creation man has come up with. Unfortunately, it combines the great health benefits of pork, fried fat, and an enormous quantity of sodium.

#1. The Incredible, Edible Egg – No good hot breakfast could be complete without eggs whether fried, scrambled, or boiled.

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The EIB Award

This week was over before it started.  The EIB Award for Excellence in Blogging goes to…

Kelly for a University of Miami Day!  GO CANES!

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Filed under family, football, Miami Hurricanes, photography

Friday Bottom 3: Comedians

Obviously, it is not possible for me to assess the 3 worst comedians since the 3 worst comedians never made it.  This bottom 3 lists the worst comedian of any notoriety.  The criteria is not only the most annoying or least talented, but also the most outlandish, ridiculous, and stupid acts and performances contribute to my ranking.  If you disagree with me, please tell me why so I can laugh at how incorrect you are.  First, in assessing the worst comedians, it turns out that some of the worst are women.  No offense to the ladies, but maybe I just don’t get the type of humor that some of these ladies try to produce.  Don’t get me wrong; I believe there are some very funny women.  I don’t necessarily agree with their lifestyles or their ideology, but that is not what makes someone funny or unfunny.  To me, Ellen DeGeneres is a very funny woman.  I wouldn’t place her in a list of my favorite comedians, or even in the list of best comedians, but to ignore her talent and wit is not easy to do.  Enough!  Here is the list.

Honorable Mention: This list is too daunting.  I should have made a top 100.  Sandra Bernhard, Rosie O’Donnel, Judy Tenuta, Louie Anderson, Paula Poundstone, Gilbert Gottfried, Sarah Silverman, Carrot Top, Roseanne Barr, Michael Richards, Whoopi Goldberg, Joan Rivers, Bob Goldthwait, Elayne Boosler, and Al Franken were barely on the outside looking in at the Bottom 3.

#3. Pauly Shore – Hey buuuuuddy!  NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, and for the record NO!  This guy is beyond annoying and not funny at all.  He was a huge comedic presence in the early 90’s but he was particularly bad as early as a cartoonish support actor providing “comedic relief” in For Keeps.

#2. Dane Cook – How did this guy get to be famous?  I watched a full length special on TV by this bum and I did not find one funny moment to laugh at.  I guess I am the idiot for wasting my time.  His bit is about as funny as Roseanne Barr singing the national anthem.  I don’t know that he cannot be funny, or if it is that he tries too hard to be funny.

#1. Kathy Griffin – It’s the screechy voice, the disgustingly crass “jokes”, and the hate against everything to do with Christianity that makes me cringe when she shows up on TV.  To me, she is by far the worst comedian or comedien.

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