Category Archives: Bottom 3

Bottom 3: Infomercial Personalities

These are the three most annoying infomercial pitch men.

#3. Billy Mays – Mays has pitched many products but is most famous for Orange Glow, Oxiclean, and now Mighty Putty. He’s probably a nice guy, but why does he have to yell all the time?

#2. Vince Offer – This was a close call. He was so close to being number one because of his incredibly annoying Shamwow and Slap Chop commercials. Half the time, I don’t know what the heck he’s talking about. You Tube has tons of parodies for Vince Offer and some of them are vulgar. It’s his fault though for throwing in phrases off the wall that are borderline vulgar. He’s a weird looking guy anyway.

#1. Kevin Trudeau – This is the knucklehead who got rich off people’s health and financial misery/ignorance. He wrote the much hyped Natural Cures, Weight Loss Cures, and Debt Cures “They” Don’t Want You to Know About. It looked like a sham to me, but a friend who actually purchased them said it was a complete waste. His mannerisms and insistence that the FDA is try to shut him up are also two contributing factors to his place at #1 on this list. I don’t want the government to shut him up, but I would like to shut him up.

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Friday Bottom 3: Colors

I’m not feeling overly creative today. These are my 3 least favorite colors, especially for my clothes.

#3. Purple – Red is a powerful color; blue is calming. But when you mix red and blue, you get a color that’s neither.

#2. Yellow – An extreme mustard yellow looks good on an off road vehicle. But a soft yellow shirt is not appealing to me.

#1. Pink – Did you think I would pick anything else? This is a great color for the ladies. 🙂

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Friday Bottom 3: Annoying Advertisement

Don’t you hate intrusive sales pitches and advertisements? 30 or more years ago, I am sure the #1 on this list would have been door-to-door, but those days appear to be done. I know these methods work because they are so widely used, even by the church. 🙂

#3. Spam – Endless useless emails flood everyone’s inbox on a daily, scratch that, hourly basis these days. Most of the time they are selling a financial scheme or some sexual aid/medical product.

#2. Junk Mail – I have noticed a serious reduction in credit card offers and pre-approved home loan offers over the last 6 months, but a massive increase in loan modification and real estate attorney letters. All that junk gets confusing, especially when they try to make it look like an official letter from my mortgage bank.

#1. The Telemarketer – I put my name on the no call list, but somehow I still get unsolicited business calls and faxes. The faxes are most annoying because they are wasting my ink and I can’t block them. Unknown Callers do not get answered at my house.

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Friday Bottom 3: Overrated Movies

The criteria I used for this list is that the movie is a stinker but is considered by movie experts to be a classic, or that it won many awards, or that the average joe thinks it is a great movie.

#3. Scarface – I am not a fan of Brian De Palma. The only film which he directed that I really enjoyed was The Untouchables. Scarface is one of his films that I just cannot stand. You must completely suspend reality and endure hundreds of swear words. The acting and drama is just way over the top and the action is unbelievable. I just don’t get the fascination with this film.

#2. Easy Rider – I guess you need to have been a hippie or wannabe hippie to really enjoy this garbage. The dialogue and acting is boring, in my opinion. The whole point of this stinker which many of the critics place in their lists of great American movies seems to be the trip across country on choppers. The man is trying to keep me down!

#1. Titanic – Wow, this one is one that I guess I will never understand. It’s loooooooooong and boring, so it made a pile of cash. The first 3 or 4 times I tried to watch it, I fell asleep 20 or 30 minutes in. As far as I am concerned, you can fast forward to the last 30 minutes and enjoy the ship sinking, because that is the best part.

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Bottom 3: Clothing Fads

I am not a fashion expert, but these in my opinion are the three worst clothing fads in my lifetime.

#3. High Waters – I think we have Michael Jackson to thank for these. I am not sure what was so appealing about pants that only reached to the low part of the shin, except for the functionality of being able to walk in a deep puddle without getting your pants wet.

#2. Spandex Pants – Fueled by the hair bands of the 80’s, this embarrassing fad should have been reserved for undergarments and snorkeling rash guards only.

#1. Oversized everything (including the subgroups of baggies and underwear exposure) – The tight jeans fad lasted a decade, the straight legs lasted about a decade, bell bottoms came and went and came back again for a while, high waters lasted maybe 5 years, and the dance-inspired leg warmers, head bands/wrist bands and sweats were only around for a few years, but somehow this ridiculous baggy look has filtered from the streets to suburbia and has stuck around for well over 10 years now. I see kids that cannot walk because their pants are falling down, XXXL shirts on skinny kids, and shorts so big, they look like bell bottom pants. I would also like to add that this fad includes the sub-group of boxer exposed drooping pants which is far more ridiculous than the oversized shirts and baggy shorts. I do get a good laugh when I see some punk criminal trying to run from the “Po-Po’s” while doing everything he can to keep his pants from falling down. This madness must stop.

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Filed under Bottom 3, music, snorkeling, time

Bottom 3: Economic Recovery Strategies

We are in an official recession, the GDP is projected to shrink for the next calendar year, unemployment is sky rocketing, more people have filed for unemployment claims than in history, there are record foreclosures, home prices are still dropping, the stock market is having a difficult time finding the bottom, and to top it all off, inflation has surged higher than was expected. How are we going to recover and get back on solid financial ground? Let me give you the bottom 3 ways to accomplish economic recovery.

#3. Reward Bad Behavior – Our government led by Pelosi and Reid and back benched by our supposed leader, President Obama has written into this stimulus package (and they are already discussing stimulus part 2) that if you are behind in your mortgage then you can be eligible for the banks to reduce your principle and interest and write the amount due to the back end of your mortgage so you will no longer be behind. That’s great, if you are behind. What about those who are not behind? Should we quit paying our mortgages so we can get a better interest rate and reduce the amount we owe also lowering our monthly payment? Sounds like a brilliant plan to me… NOT.

#2. Spend More – I seem to recall all the Bush haters saying the reason the economy stinks was due to the $10 Billion monthly we were spending in Iraq combined with the ridiculous amounts of pork barrel spending by members of congress. Now those same Bush bashers are saying the only way we can get out of the financial mess we are in is by spending more to the tune of $3.2 trillion over the next 5 years on various pork projects and government programs as long as we call it a stimulus plan. This stimulus plan was no plan at all, and it definitely is not stimulative. If spending recklessly got us in this mess, how will multiplying the amount of spending all the while being even more reckless help? Are they trying to fight fire with fire? I didn’t like the out-of-control spending when Bush was president, but it seems like there is so much hypocrisy here. With a Republican president, spending is called reckless, pork projects, and “out-of-control”, but with Democrat Obama, it’s called stimulus. Inflation is coming fast and hard.

#1. Raise Taxes – We haven’t done it yet, but you can be sure that it is coming. The key words those on the right are listening for are phrases like “pay your fair share”, economic and social justice, targeted tax cuts, tax credits, and “investment”. Politicians who use those words really mean TAX INCREASE for those who actually pay taxes to foot the bill for those who do not pay taxes (but they receive loads of services). Yes, we have heard those words used over the past few months, so we know that the tax increases are coming. After all, it’s only fair. Right?

In my humble opinion, it seems as if President PelosiReidObama is doing everything they can to make sure the economy does not recover. In fact, this outrageous generational theft (McCain’s term for this “Stimulus Plan”) is going to lengthen and deepen the recession into a possible depression.

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Friday Bottom 3: Worst Breakfast Foods

In a way, these could be the top 3 as well. I will just say that these are really bad for you.

#3. Bacon – Why isn’t this #1?  Because these strips of fried fat and salt are actually OK if you are on Atkins.  Man, I love me some bacon.  Chris is going to need some Lipitor just reading this blog.

#2. Pancakes – It’s not bad enough that you smother these cakes with syrup and butter.  To get the whole experience, you need a stack of them and a side of bacon and sausage.

#1. Doughnuts – Or is it donuts?  It’s so confusing.  The problem with these delicious treats is complex.   They are deep fried carbohydrate loops drenched in sugar.  How can you just eat one for breakfast?  They just make you hungry.

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Friday Bottom 3: Weather Events

These are the three worst weather events directly impacting my life.

#3. 2005 Hurricane Triple Header – Florida received a 1-2-3 punch combo in the Summer and Fall 2005 hurricane season. Homestead received one of its highest precipitation totals ever recorded and most of Dade and Broward counties were out of power for extended periods while much of Homestead’s power outages lasted weeks. Katrina, Rita and then Wilma had South Florida residents putting up shutters, taking them down, and repeating two more times. Just about everywhere you went standing water blocked vehicle progress and flooded homes.

#2. The Winter Storm January 1996 – I was returning to Lee University in Cleveland following Christmas break with Andrew Hoomook when an ice storm hit the east. From Atlanta north into TN, roads were closed for three days. We ended up grabbing a room for two nights in Cold-lanta to try and wait out some of the nastiness. At one point for several miles, we were slowed to almost idle speed to keep from sliding off the ice covered roads. The conditions occurred because a layer of rain froze on the road was followed by freezing rain falling on top. I saw numerous cars blown off the road by wind, people losing control and being stranded in ditches, and semi tractor trailers barrelling down the road at speeds well above the rest of traffic. It was frightening to say the least.

#1. Hurricane Andrew, 1992 – Thank the Lord I did not directly experience the wind of Hurricane Andrew. That weekend, my mom and I were in Cleveland, TN helping Travis get moved into his dorm for his freshman year at Lee University and my dad evacuated with Ron Cable (one of the HCOG church members who was working at Turkey Point with Bechtel, down temporarily from Fresno, CA). They evacuated west to Punta Gorda, FL and then traveled east to Central FL on the east coast, and followed the tailed end of the hurricane as it exited the state across Naples and into the Gulf. I stayed up all night Sunday evening at my cousins’ home in Atlanta watching the weather channel as the radar image showed that destructive storm land in Homestead while the weather people were stating that it was heading for Titusville, then Palm Beach County, and the Miami. I kept thinking they must be blind since I could clearly see that it made a direct hit south of Miami, and had been on a straight line for Homestead since it went across the Bahamas. When we made our entrance to Homestead with our family friend David Barron (he was there to help us dry in the house and salvage anything from the mess that we possibly could), it took us a couple hours just to make it the 30 or so miles from near the airport in Miami south into Homestead itself via Florida’s Turnpike. The best way to describe the damage in Homestead was ground zero of a massive bomb. The few trees that were not toppled were completely stripped of leaves, every home in our neighborhood was practically destroyed, cars were destroyed, all mobile home/pre fab homes were flattened and debris strewn everywhere, many roads completely impassable by car, boats were found miles inland, and even the grass was destroyed by driving wind and salt water tidal surge (in areas). We slept on a picnic bench outside the house for a couple nights since the house was covered with fiberglass insulation and rain water. The contents of Travis’ room was sucked out when his shutters failed, and my room was soaked from rain which fell through the destroyed roof. We were without power for 4 months, though we did have generated power for some lighting and refrigeration a few weeks into our recovery. It really was a tough but learning time for me, though I know I had it good compared to so many other people. At a later time, I can go into more details of the events, experiences, sad and funny things I saw and did during that defining time in the life of my family. I am sure my dad also has many stories to share that you may find fascinating.

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Filed under Bottom 3, Homestead, Hurricanes

Friday Bottom 3: Cable News Personalities

This bottom 3 list is not based on ratings, but simply on personal preference.  Since my preference is nearly impeccable, you can take my word as gold!

#3. Bill O’Reilly – This guy has a couple of decent things to say occasionally.  Unfortunately, he presents very few facts when he goes off on his rants against oil companies.  I watched one evening as he had Neil Cavuto as a special guest.  O’Reilly began talking about how he was “looking out for the folks” and slamming oil companies for gas prices that didn’t drop proportionally to the price of the falling barrel of oil.  Cavuto literally destroyed that argument talking about how oil at $20/barrell had gas prices at $1.50/gallon, but oil at $120/barrel had gas prices at about $3-4/gallon.  That means if you argue falling oil prices from $120/barrel were not moving fast enough, the price of the gallon of gas should have been between $9 to $12 at its peak.  He tried with no success to get the point through that there is much more cost that goes into a gallon of gas than a barrell of oil, but O’Reilly was too obtuse, stupid or maybe just too prideful to admit he was wrong, so he just continued yelling at the brilliant Cavuto.

#2. Chris Matthews – This guy has been masquerading as a legitimate news personality for way too long.  The combination of totally biased commentary with one of the most annoying and pushy personalities makes this guy nearly unbearable.  It’s no wonder that his ratings are totally in the tank on MSNBC.  I have another pet peeve about Matthews.  I can’t stand how he gets that dumb mouth mayo/spittle in the corners of his mouth while he is yelling and interupting everybody.  Besides, this knucklehead admitted on national TV that he gets a “tingle” up his leg when Obama speaks.  Give me a break.

#1. Keith Olbermann – This guy should have stuck to ESPN.  His biased opinions are not bad enough.  Like O’Reilly, this guy tries to pass his opinion off as fact, only he is so far slanted to the left he needs a kickstand.  Olbermann is what the Soviet Communists of decades past would have described as a useful idiot.  His smug arrogance combined with irrational anger makes him unwatchable for anyone desiring honest political coverage.  From my perspective, the purpose of his show is to make any God-fearing freedom-loving American look bad.

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Friday Bottom 3: Musical Genre

I am a big fan of music of course. Some stuff we call music is not really music, in my estimation. These are the three worst, in my opinion.

#3. Techno/House – This is ok for a brief time, but it all runs together since it’s so repetitive. Much of this music sounds so similar, it’s hard to find the purpose of so many different songs. If you’ve heard one, you’ve heard it all.

#2. Rap/Hip Hop – The biggest problem I have with this form of “music” is its lack of creativity. Yes, it takes talent and skill to rap and to create some of the beats, but a high percentage of the music is from other songs that have been sampled and looped. The whole prison/street/gang culture which is pervasive in this genre is equally annoying.

#1. Death Metal – This is absolutely the worst garbage that people attempt to call music. Screaming and growling while drums and a guitar pegged to the wall wail unintelligibly is worse than nails on a chalk board. But if that is what floats your boat…

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