Category Archives: Bottom 3

Bottom 3: Infomercial Personalities

These are the three most annoying infomercial pitch men.

#3. Billy Mays – Mays has pitched many products but is most famous for Orange Glow, Oxiclean, and now Mighty Putty. He’s probably a nice guy, but why does he have to yell all the time?

#2. Vince Offer – This was a close call. He was so close to being number one because of his incredibly annoying Shamwow and Slap Chop commercials. Half the time, I don’t know what the heck he’s talking about. You Tube has tons of parodies for Vince Offer and some of them are vulgar. It’s his fault though for throwing in phrases off the wall that are borderline vulgar. He’s a weird looking guy anyway.

#1. Kevin Trudeau – This is the knucklehead who got rich off people’s health and financial misery/ignorance. He wrote the much hyped Natural Cures, Weight Loss Cures, and Debt Cures “They” Don’t Want You to Know About. It looked like a sham to me, but a friend who actually purchased them said it was a complete waste. His mannerisms and insistence that the FDA is try to shut him up are also two contributing factors to his place at #1 on this list. I don’t want the government to shut him up, but I would like to shut him up.

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Friday Bottom 3: Colors

I’m not feeling overly creative today. These are my 3 least favorite colors, especially for my clothes.

#3. Purple – Red is a powerful color; blue is calming. But when you mix red and blue, you get a color that’s neither.

#2. Yellow – An extreme mustard yellow looks good on an off road vehicle. But a soft yellow shirt is not appealing to me.

#1. Pink – Did you think I would pick anything else? This is a great color for the ladies. 🙂

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Friday Bottom 3: Annoying Advertisement

Don’t you hate intrusive sales pitches and advertisements? 30 or more years ago, I am sure the #1 on this list would have been door-to-door, but those days appear to be done. I know these methods work because they are so widely used, even by the church. 🙂

#3. Spam – Endless useless emails flood everyone’s inbox on a daily, scratch that, hourly basis these days. Most of the time they are selling a financial scheme or some sexual aid/medical product.

#2. Junk Mail – I have noticed a serious reduction in credit card offers and pre-approved home loan offers over the last 6 months, but a massive increase in loan modification and real estate attorney letters. All that junk gets confusing, especially when they try to make it look like an official letter from my mortgage bank.

#1. The Telemarketer – I put my name on the no call list, but somehow I still get unsolicited business calls and faxes. The faxes are most annoying because they are wasting my ink and I can’t block them. Unknown Callers do not get answered at my house.

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Friday Bottom 3: Overrated Movies

The criteria I used for this list is that the movie is a stinker but is considered by movie experts to be a classic, or that it won many awards, or that the average joe thinks it is a great movie.

#3. Scarface – I am not a fan of Brian De Palma. The only film which he directed that I really enjoyed was The Untouchables. Scarface is one of his films that I just cannot stand. You must completely suspend reality and endure hundreds of swear words. The acting and drama is just way over the top and the action is unbelievable. I just don’t get the fascination with this film.

#2. Easy Rider – I guess you need to have been a hippie or wannabe hippie to really enjoy this garbage. The dialogue and acting is boring, in my opinion. The whole point of this stinker which many of the critics place in their lists of great American movies seems to be the trip across country on choppers. The man is trying to keep me down!

#1. Titanic – Wow, this one is one that I guess I will never understand. It’s loooooooooong and boring, so it made a pile of cash. The first 3 or 4 times I tried to watch it, I fell asleep 20 or 30 minutes in. As far as I am concerned, you can fast forward to the last 30 minutes and enjoy the ship sinking, because that is the best part.

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Bottom 3: Clothing Fads

I am not a fashion expert, but these in my opinion are the three worst clothing fads in my lifetime.

#3. High Waters – I think we have Michael Jackson to thank for these. I am not sure what was so appealing about pants that only reached to the low part of the shin, except for the functionality of being able to walk in a deep puddle without getting your pants wet.

#2. Spandex Pants – Fueled by the hair bands of the 80’s, this embarrassing fad should have been reserved for undergarments and snorkeling rash guards only.

#1. Oversized everything (including the subgroups of baggies and underwear exposure) – The tight jeans fad lasted a decade, the straight legs lasted about a decade, bell bottoms came and went and came back again for a while, high waters lasted maybe 5 years, and the dance-inspired leg warmers, head bands/wrist bands and sweats were only around for a few years, but somehow this ridiculous baggy look has filtered from the streets to suburbia and has stuck around for well over 10 years now. I see kids that cannot walk because their pants are falling down, XXXL shirts on skinny kids, and shorts so big, they look like bell bottom pants. I would also like to add that this fad includes the sub-group of boxer exposed drooping pants which is far more ridiculous than the oversized shirts and baggy shorts. I do get a good laugh when I see some punk criminal trying to run from the “Po-Po’s” while doing everything he can to keep his pants from falling down. This madness must stop.

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Bottom 3: Economic Recovery Strategies

We are in an official recession, the GDP is projected to shrink for the next calendar year, unemployment is sky rocketing, more people have filed for unemployment claims than in history, there are record foreclosures, home prices are still dropping, the stock market is having a difficult time finding the bottom, and to top it all off, inflation has surged higher than was expected. How are we going to recover and get back on solid financial ground? Let me give you the bottom 3 ways to accomplish economic recovery.

#3. Reward Bad Behavior – Our government led by Pelosi and Reid and back benched by our supposed leader, President Obama has written into this stimulus package (and they are already discussing stimulus part 2) that if you are behind in your mortgage then you can be eligible for the banks to reduce your principle and interest and write the amount due to the back end of your mortgage so you will no longer be behind. That’s great, if you are behind. What about those who are not behind? Should we quit paying our mortgages so we can get a better interest rate and reduce the amount we owe also lowering our monthly payment? Sounds like a brilliant plan to me… NOT.

#2. Spend More – I seem to recall all the Bush haters saying the reason the economy stinks was due to the $10 Billion monthly we were spending in Iraq combined with the ridiculous amounts of pork barrel spending by members of congress. Now those same Bush bashers are saying the only way we can get out of the financial mess we are in is by spending more to the tune of $3.2 trillion over the next 5 years on various pork projects and government programs as long as we call it a stimulus plan. This stimulus plan was no plan at all, and it definitely is not stimulative. If spending recklessly got us in this mess, how will multiplying the amount of spending all the while being even more reckless help? Are they trying to fight fire with fire? I didn’t like the out-of-control spending when Bush was president, but it seems like there is so much hypocrisy here. With a Republican president, spending is called reckless, pork projects, and “out-of-control”, but with Democrat Obama, it’s called stimulus. Inflation is coming fast and hard.

#1. Raise Taxes – We haven’t done it yet, but you can be sure that it is coming. The key words those on the right are listening for are phrases like “pay your fair share”, economic and social justice, targeted tax cuts, tax credits, and “investment”. Politicians who use those words really mean TAX INCREASE for those who actually pay taxes to foot the bill for those who do not pay taxes (but they receive loads of services). Yes, we have heard those words used over the past few months, so we know that the tax increases are coming. After all, it’s only fair. Right?

In my humble opinion, it seems as if President PelosiReidObama is doing everything they can to make sure the economy does not recover. In fact, this outrageous generational theft (McCain’s term for this “Stimulus Plan”) is going to lengthen and deepen the recession into a possible depression.

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Friday Bottom 3: Worst Breakfast Foods

In a way, these could be the top 3 as well. I will just say that these are really bad for you.

#3. Bacon – Why isn’t this #1?  Because these strips of fried fat and salt are actually OK if you are on Atkins.  Man, I love me some bacon.  Chris is going to need some Lipitor just reading this blog.

#2. Pancakes – It’s not bad enough that you smother these cakes with syrup and butter.  To get the whole experience, you need a stack of them and a side of bacon and sausage.

#1. Doughnuts – Or is it donuts?  It’s so confusing.  The problem with these delicious treats is complex.   They are deep fried carbohydrate loops drenched in sugar.  How can you just eat one for breakfast?  They just make you hungry.

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