Tag Archives: Big Hair

Friday Bottom 3: Hairstyles

This bottom 3 really isn’t too hard to compile. You take hair, you do weird things to it that make it look silly, you reserve a spot on the Bottom 3.

Dis-Honorable Mention:

The Mohawk – I wonder if the Mohawk Indian tribe really had this type of hairdo or if it’s just some undeserved moniker. Notable mohawks include Robert Deniro in Taxi Driver and Mr. T of the A Team!

The Bowl Cut – This atrocious haircut was featured in the movie Dumb and Dumber, but one of the most famous persons sporting a bowl cut was Moe of the Three Stooges. You simply take a soup bowl, place it on the cranium, and cut off of shave all the hair that remains outside the bowl.

The Hi-Top Fade – Notable Hi Toppers from the late 80’s and early 90’s were Wesley Snipes, Patrick Ewing, Scottie Pippen, Big Daddy Kane, Arsenio Hall, and the ultimate Hi Topper, Kid from Kid and Play! I guess people wearing high top’s on their head could not wear a hat.

And now, the bottom 3…

#3. Glam Rock Big Hair – Think Poison, Whitesnake, Stryper, Motley Crew, and old school Bonjovi to name a few. Wait, on second thought, don’t torture yourself. Interestingly, it seems King Louis XIV was the first notable person to sport big hair. The French are always screwing things up! (To all the French out there, I’m only kidding. For everyone else, I’m serious!)

#2. The Mullet – If you don’t know what a mullet is, you weren’t paying attention to the world (especially the South) in the 80’s. A notable person who recently was sporting a mullet is Jesse Santoyo of the Saturn Project. But business up front and party in the back just doesn’t work unless you’re a Major League Baseball player. Billy Ray Cyrus had one of the greatest mullets of all times.

#1. The Jheri Curl – I have known some great people over the years who wore Jheri Curls. I know even this hairstyle was acceptable in mainstream society at one time. But come on! This was just a bad idea altogether. The most notable Jheri Curlers were Jesse Jackson, Michael Jackson, Eddie Murray, and Andrew Dawson. Here are some good Jheri-sources and a Jheri video. Jheri juice stains can still be found on the backs of seats on the Metro Rail here in Miami. I am not sure if those stains are from years ago, or if there are still people out there who are holding on to the possibility that America will bring back this really bad idea.


Filed under Baseball, Bottom 3, humor