Deep Thought

I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.

-Jack Handey

Deep Thought

Sometimes, when I lie in bed at night and look up at the stars, I think to myself, “Man! I really need to fix that roof.”
-Jack Handey

Deep Thought

“Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: “Mankind”. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words – “mank” and “ind”. What do these words mean ? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.”

-Jack Handey

Deep Thought

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”
-Jack Handey

Deep Thought 5/14/08

“Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky feeling.”
-Jack Handey

Deep Thought

If you ever catch on fire, try avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that’s what really throws you into a panic.

-Jack Handey

Deep Thought

“I believe in making the world safe for children, but not our children’s children.  Because I don’t think children should be having sex.”

– Jack Handey

Deep Thought

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

-Jack Handey

Deep Thought – 4/2/08

Whether they live in an igloo or a grass shack or a mud hut, people around the world all want the same thing: a better house!

–Jack Handey

Deep Thought – 3/26/08

Broken promises don’t bother me. I just think,”Why did they believe me?”

–Jack Handey