Don’t you love my Top 5 and Bottom 3 lists having to do with movies? It’s like a sequel. You know it’s going to stink, but you have to go see it anyway. These are the worst sequels/prequels ever made. In order for a movie to qualify for my list, the original at least had to be entertaining. There will be some discussion about a movie or two that should have been included in the list, but I don’t believe anyone will argue that these should have been left off because of their quality. In fact, if you disagree with these selections, you are wrong and should face a civil penalty.
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd – Some may disagree that the original was good. Personally, I believe the original Dumb and Dumber to be a quality film which touches on everyone’s inner desire and ambition to succeed, and stirs an emotion not easily described. Well, it could also be the hilarious ex-lax and toilet scene that makes the original great, so I could be wrong. But, the lack of talent and thought in writing part two left you with just a silly mash up of horrible jokes and stupid humor.
Jaws: The Revenge – This one was so close to making the bottom three. It’s saving grace was that the Jaws 3-D sequel before was almost as bad, so this one could hardly be much worse. Both were plain awful, but this one was as big a stinker as Mount Trashmore.
Drum roll please….
#3 Rocky V – I am very grateful that Sylvester Stallone redeemed himself in the last installment. In Rocky V, they tried to do something different. Rocky was not fighting for money this time. He was retired, and he had developed a talented fighter. His protege (sorry I couldn’t find the accents) turns against him, and a caricatured Don King waving a flag and saying “Only In America” watches in the background as grandpa Rocky kicks some Tommy Morrison tail! It’s really much better to picture it in your head than to watch it on a movie screen.
#2 Speed 2: Cruise Control – I liked the first Speed flick. It was fun, fast-paced, with some action, and a nasty villain. The second was just an attempt to capitalize off the success of the first. The acting and storyline were so laughable! Did Sandra Bullock’s career ever fully recover?
#1 Batman and Robin – Holy Stinker, Batman! There has to be a purpose in a movie with good material like the Batman and Robin comic heroes turning out to be more like a Broadway show. Someone was trying to bankrupt Warner Bros. Pictures. The villains were not scary, the good guys were not likable, and the plot seemed like it had been written by a 13 year old. That is a bad combination for a movie with a budget the size of most countries’ GDP. I think they spent all their money on the almost A-list cast and uniforms and forgot to pay for a story, special effects, or sets. Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Uma Thurman, Chris O’Donnell, Alicia Silverstone (who was actually a big name at the time), Vivica Fox, and Elle McPherson were all cast in this joke without the Joker. This may be the worst movie ever made, unless you are a pothead in which case you may have actually enjoyed it.