Tag Archives: Vienna Sausages

Hurricane Repellent Kit

Hurricane Repellent Kit

Hurricane Repellent Kit

For the low, low price of just 3 paments of $29.99 +$9.99 shipping and handling, you too can have your very own hurricane repellent kit with a limited guarantee to protect you in the event of an approaching tropical system.  The kit includes one can of Vienna Sausages, a 12 pack of batteries (choose from AA or AAA), and one bottle of purified water.  Instructions are simple: board or shutter all windows and get your hurricane kit out.  The hurricane will change course and hit someone else.  If the hurricane does hit, as the winds start to pick up just open the water bottle and vienna sausages and consume.  Besure to place the batteries into a flashlight and/or a radio and turn them on.  You will be safe!  This comes with a full money back guarantee.  Just pay shipping and handling.

3 Comments

Filed under Hurricanes

Friday Bottom 3: Canned Food

We all have a guilty pleasure when it comes to canned foods.  Some people love spaghetti-o’s, some love beenie-weenies, and some people even like rutabaga’s in a can.  Well, here is my list of the 3 worst canned foods.  The criteria is that it must be fairly common, the ingredients must be in question, and it must be a food that you wouldn’t want people to see you eating.  I won’t be including pork brains or canned horse or anything obscure like that.  If you feel I have missed something, feel free to add it on.

Honorable Mention:

Sardines – Yes, I actually enjoy sardines.  It makes much better fish bait than human food, but if you add enough hot sauce, serve it on a cracker, it’s actually not that bad.  Be careful not to spill any of the oil on a porous surface or it will not only leave a stain, but an odor that will last forever.

#3 Vienna Sausages – Yes, I know this is one of my family’s favorite traveling foods.  It’s like a hotdog, only mushier, saltier, and with a strange flavor that cannot quite be identified.  But the best way to neutralize this strange taste is to break out some good club crackers and smash a Vienna Sausage between the two crackers, like a sandwich.

#2 Potted Meat – Whoever came up with the idea of taking pieces of minced leftover meat, salting it heavily, sticking it in a can, and actually naming it “Potted Meat” must have been a marketing genius.  Who would actually buy this stuff?  I will tell you.  When a hurricane threatens south Florida, one of the rules is to have plenty of Potted Meat and Vienna Sausages on hand for survival purposes.  As soon as the first bad weather starts to hit, I open a can of potted meat and I am comforted to know that I will survive.

#1 Spam – Is there any doubt that this would be the #1?  This is also known as “Mystery Meat”.  Spam actually had a campaign a few years back that you could slice it and fry it, put it on a bun, and call it a Spamburger.  There are also many recipe sites where you can find all types of high-end meals made from spam.  Every year in Texas, an event called Spamarama is held where you can compete in Spam cooking contests.  I actually had something with spam that was decent.  Someone had a platter with layers of chopped up spam, cream cheese, and pineapples served with crackers.  If you can avoid dipping in the spam, the pineapple and cream cheese goes pretty good together with the cracker.

4 Comments

Filed under Bottom 3, fishing, food, Hurricanes